I found this in my drafts. I skimmed it, I dunno.

I was laying in bed one night and suddenly, out of no where as if it had fallen out of the immense darkness that had surrounded me, t'was an idea; a thought. As it had dawned on me I felt the utter most bitterness for this world and what it has become; it sickened me, the world I mean not the idea. The idea itself was much more the opposite of disgust and tasted little of bitterness. I feel it's not so much an idea as much as it is a hopeless hope; a worthless wonder. It's not even that the thought is hopeless, it's the world.

The idea is so simple. When you look at the world today what do you see? Nothing but problems, right? And that, my friend, is a problem in itself. So rather than spend our time, or waste it rather, on trying to solve every problem one at a time we solve the biggest of them all which is that the world IS full of problems. If we can solve that, then we solve all problems.

Why do we bow to a government that sees as as assets; pawns even? I'll tell you why. The reason is we as a general people are afraid of chaos, but in all honesty what is the world today? We have war, poor, corruption, and conspiracy. The world is chaos but it's controlled chaos and it's controlled by none other than the governments that own us and treat us as sheep in a farm. Send us off to war (Against our will in the event of a draft.) and for what? "Peace in the Middle East" right? This world has a funny way of achieving peace.

I believe, if we stopped spending so much time, money, and effort into fighting these wars and started investing the time and money into helping other countries the world would be so much better off. If we took that money and helped feed the poor in other countries (and our own for that matter) not only would we be saving the lives of those who can't afford food, but we would also be saving the lives of those who would have been otherwise sent to war. That is the way to reach world peace.

Marijuana: Dependency Vs. Addiction

Dependency and addiction are not the same thing contrary to popular belief. I'm focusing mostly on marijuana, however, the concept can be applied to virtually anything. First off, dependency is the act of using whereas addiction is the act of abusing. I do not abuse the drug, I merely use it. When I do not have it I do not let it put a halt on my life, I move on. Without it very little changes. For example: Eating. When under the influence of weed I feel fantastic in a sense of not only my mental status but my physical status as well. I have trouble eating when not under the influence due to past disorders I brought upon myself and regret although accept as part of my past. Back to the point, the only thing that ever seems to counteract my lack of appetite/feeling sick after eating is smoking pot. Therefore I have formed a dependency on the drug because without it I hardly eat. This is why I've hardly eaten in the past two days, I've been out. This does not make me addicted, simply dependent. Which I dislike all the same, granted, however, dependency is still better than addiction and I have enough self-control, intelligence, and self-respect to not abuse it. It doesn't affect my rational thought process, nor does it negatively impact my life (disregarding the decline of my financial standing. I try my best to not let money run my life because it's just a way for the government to keep you further under their control and I don't want to fall a victim to 'the man'). I think that's all I really had to say, now to knock out a myth or two.

Myth: "You become irritable when you haven't smoked." It's not that I become irritable without it, that's just how I am. You wouldn't have ever noticed a change in behavior if I had never used, I would simply be bitter and irritable all the time. The only reason you feel that way is because with it I become happier, less annoyed which creates an alternative, though temporary, mood. In other words, it's not the lack of drugs that leaves me cynical, it's the use of them that makes me the antithesis of that.

Myth: "Using marijuana makes you incompetent." As a frequent flyer I feel that I counteract this directly and at the risk of sounding utterly conceited I will tell you why. Considering my vocabulary is more advance, my ability to think logically is more prominent, and the amount I read/write is generally higher than those who do not partake in even the occasional joint I feel that incompetence is not directly related to marijuana use but more an effect of your personal life choices associated with your education. Please note that when I say education I am not referring to your schooling but more your knowledge acquired outside your public/private education. It's not so much what you're taught that counts, but what you learn. To sum this up I'll leave with a quote. "The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education." - Albert Einstein. (Although controversial considering some claim he never said it and it's merely a tweaked version of a Mark Twain quote falsely accredited to Einstein. I wasn't there to hear it, I wouldn't know. None the less it still sums up exactly what I'm saying).

Homophobia & McCarthyism

The basic idea in comparing these two variables is rather simple. When logical people argue that those of lesbian, gay, bi, or transgender agendas should have rights often times they are abruptly as well as irrationally labeled as one of said agendas. This concept of wrongful accusations is not unlike that of what we saw in the 1950’s when the people’s fear of Communism outweighed their rational thought process. Basically people were accused of being Communists without any basis of fact or even reasonable suspicion. Those who spoke up against it and suggested we stop the irrational behavior were labeled as a Communist themselves. This stopped people from trying to change the situation despite any objections they might have to it. There was a movie made,The Crucible, it was about the Salem Witch Trials and how they had done the same thing then that we were doing now. And in today’s society we are doing it again: Irrationally labeling those who fight for the rights of non-heterosexual citizens. We must learn from our history or else our future is predetermined. For we won’t be moving forward, but merely repeating what has already been done. Don’t repeat history. Fight for human rights.

Damn it's been a while since I've even opened this thing. Anyway, if anybody reads this chances are it will be a really long time until I update again. This has pretty much become a place for bits of writing not important enough to save on my computer but I put enough thought into it to save it here in case one day I feel like expanding on the thought or insight or whatever it may be.

A general update I guess. Uhh, I'm single, I'm grounded for two weeks as of yesterday, and I like Pepsi.

Current events: Well, I've been hanging out with an old friend, Albert, who lives two miles down the road. I'm on break right now. Two days ago I walked to my friend Blake's house followed by Triston's house because I had nothing better to do and I wanted breakfast at the gas station. I ended up walking over eight miles so that's cool I guess. The day before that I saw The Women in Black with Deidra. Valentines day was this month so I threw shit (Lettuce off my friend, Dom's, sandwich and tater tots) at the 'Candy Gram' booth at school whenever they set up next to us at lunch. On the actual day I went over to Deidra's place and hung out. I think we watched The Breakfast Club. No, wait, that was when I went over the time before that one. Which also counts as a current event: I watched The Breakfast Club because for some reason I'd never seen it before and everyone kept saying I was "Like that one guy." (The rebellious one) So I had to watch it! We also wathced Dazed & Confused which is a rad movie. I guess that's about it right now. I'm listening to "All My Best Friends Are Metal Heads" by Less Than Jake. I don't like a lot of their songs but this one kicks ass. Listen to it.

That was longer than I meant it to be. This entire post was just suppose to be this: The post I'm about to put up is just for future reference and I figure it couldn't hurt if anyone else happened to stumble upon it.

Also why did my blog randomly get 2 page views yesterday after having none for a long time? I have no fucking idea but alright.

A little perspective in a fucked up world.

I know I haven't posted in a long time. Anyway, I just had to get this off my chest.

After class today my mom picked up my brother and I and we headed in to town to get dinner. Afterwards we went grocery shopping. When we first walked in a threw a pack of doughnuts in the cart. IT had about five, just a small pack for 75 cents. We continued to shop and ended up getting the bigger bags of doughnuts for breakfast and stuff. I don't know why but I didn't put the small pack back. I thought about it but I didn't. After we left the store my brother wanted to go look at the jackets at Big 5 so we drove over. When we pulled up there were a couple homeless people, one was behind the pillar and I couldn't see him and the other one was picking through the trash can. There were to doughnuts left in the package, we shared them. I walked over and gave the two doughnuts left to the lady who was picking through the trash, I wasn't thinking about anything I just figured I didn't need them nearly as much as they did. As she took them out of my hand the other guy walked out from behind the pillar and it was a young kid my age. I used to be friends with him. His name is Anthony and his parents kicked him out a while back. I heard he was on the streets but I didn't expect to see him, it took me by surprise. I was in such shock I could barely look at the guy. I shook his hand and we had a brief conversation and both went our separate ways.
Before he saw me, when he was walking toward the lady I handed the food to he was smiling. He was happy. It just makes you think, who are we to complain? Who are we to be pissed off because we didn't get enough sleep that night or because we forgot to eat breakfast or because we're having a bad day. How can it be that the ones with so much don't realize it and the ones who've lost it out are the kindest of us all. The only ones who really have a clue, the only ones who can be grateful for what they have. It just gives you a bit of perspective and I think sometimes we all need that.

This is going to sound unrelated but it's not. In one of my classes part of our final was to do something "philanthropic" (Something nice for someone) and do a presentation on it. So pretty much give someone less fortunate food or money or whatever, take a picture, and present it in front of the class. Later that day I was talking to the teacher and we got into a debate about it. I argued that it wasn't philanthropic because kids were only doing it for the points and the definition of philanthropy is doing something with the knowledge you won't get anything in return. He thought about it and the next day he announced to the class that the assignment was no long mandatory. It won't count against you, only for you.

I know what you're thinking, that's the only reason I gave them the food. You're wrong, I wasn't even thinking about that. I can honestly say the thought didn't cross my mind until the ride home. I didn't think about it in a way that I could use for my benefit, not at all, I don't want the points because then it's meaningless and only for the points. I was thinking about how fucked up of a person I am for convincing him to not make it mandatory. I mean, he had the entire class doing something good for the less fortunate, those who need it and yes it would have been only for the points but you know what? Either way it would have helped someone out, whoever it may be and I just ruined that for them. I'm feeling like a genuine ass hole right about now because it's 100% my fault. I wish there was some way I could take it back because I know most the kids aren't going to do anything anymore. Fuck this world.

- Jacob.

Blind children at the zoo.

I like muffins.

I stole my grandma's Pink Floyed records and have been playing those.

P.S. I got my record player set up in my room.

I don't feel the need to write on this blog.

like. ever.

I'm thinking about deleting it.

So yeah.