Friday, December 31, 2010

When I die..

When I die here is what I want to happen:
1. I want to be buried, not incarcerated because I want to be able to participate in the zombie apocalypse.

2. I want my tombstone to say nothing but these words here:  "I'll see you in hell"
(Maybe even have the famous picture of Uncle Sam pointing his finger out at who ever is reading, just as a last sick joke)

3. I don't want flowers ever placed on my grave. I don't want flowers when i'm alive, what makes you think i'll want them when i'm dead?

4. I want a small bell placed in front of my tombstone with a string attached to it, the other end shall go down at end up in my coffin. This is what they did in the past in case they buried someone alive by accident (i.e. they were in a coma) so if you woke up in a coffin you could frantically pull the string, in turn ringing the bell. 

5. My Coffin: just through me in a cardboard box, this way it will be easier to get out when i'm a zombie. 

6. I want to have in my cardboard box of a coffin a good book (or a few for that matter), some source of music, and any other source of entertainment. The reasoning for this is because when I wake up as a zombie I don't want to rush to the surface. I want to wait it out for a while, this way the stupid zombies will have rushed out and been shot. I will come up out of the ground after the humans have run out of ammo and there will be much fewer of them. This way my zombie life will last much longer.

7. My Funeral: First, I want every single one of my enemies to be invited and and none of my friends. This way when my body is lowered into the ground I want someone to set off a series of small but powerful bombs killing everyone there as a sense of revenge for what they did to me. Then I want a second funeral with all my friends there and I want it to be a vicious, intense, crazy ass party. I want live music and fucking strobe lights every where. 

8. I think I pretty much covered it all other than where I want to be buried. To answer this I would have to say wherever I am happiest, so I guess I would want to be buried next to the girl I love more than anything because thats where I am truly happy. 

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