Monday, May 30, 2011


HI GUYS!!! My name is Jacob and I'm totaly wanting to fuck someone right now;) We all know it's DRICK!!! Yusssss!!!! (: Thank you, carry on(:

Sunday, May 29, 2011

I have the fears, the pain and the tears I just can't hide. It all disappears 'cause everything passes with the time. All you need is reason to believe.

Okay, I want to blog but I really don't have anything to say. Nothing of interest at least. Nothing anyone should waste their time reading. =] Here is my question to you. Why do you care? Why are you wasting your life away by reading my utterly useless nonsensical words that lack any spec of wisdom or profoundness. If you're looking for something profound, go listen to The Doors. Seriously though, The Doors kick ass. Anyway, I could sit here and write all about what's on my mind. But why do you care? My mind is rather boring at times. I could write things like "I am drinking a Dr. Pepper" ...Who gives a shit? Honestly does any of it really matter. So now I have to spend my time thinking of something unfathomable by the human mind. Something non imaginable by any means whatsoever. Something so unmistakably complex that the only place it could have possibly been born was the very depths of my soul. I'm beginning to find my words lack importance of any kind and my last few statements have become quite redundant. So here I go on my search not of the mind, but of the heart, of the soul, in hope for none other than a thought itself. Because not all thoughts generate in the mind, no. Some, the thoughts so profound, so unmatchable to any thought ever thought before, those come from the heart. Which is a place I don't like to go very often because in my opinion the heart is blind. The heart is irrational, insecure and neurotic. The heart is so encumbered with love and hate that any rationality or sense cannot be found. If you look in the physical heart, you will find nothing but arteries and vesicles. But, if you look into the emotional heart you will find it is the most complex part of the body. So bewildering with its endless emotions. Emotions that you yourself don't even realize exist because we as humans try to stay away from the heart. Out of sight out of mind. Because it's in our nature to be afraid. Afraid to get hurt, afraid of the pain and emotional toll that can come from opening your heart. So, we try to keep it locked up and forget it's there. Some people have adapted to this behavior. They have found a way to not shut out the heart, but to completely obliterate it until every emotion has died off. Then you find we get serial killers. But other people. People who can't get rid of their emotion, they have a chance. Most won't take the chance because with every chance comes a risk. It may be the biggest risk of your life: To open your heart. Most won't have it, they will keep people at arms length. But other's more brave and more wise all the same, will open their heart to one person and only one person. These are the people who feel something so unmatchable by any emotion ever felt, something so terrible that they hate it with every bit of their soul but wouldn't get rid of it for anything, something so unbelievable they feel as if life is nothing but a dream, they feel it's too unrealistic to be real. These are the people who fall in love. But with every passing day they are taking the risk and once you start there is no turning back. To lose the one you truly love is to completely die inside. The heart, once filled with such fantastic emotion becomes nothing but a black hole. Turning everything to bitter dust. This is why true love only comes around once in a lifetime. You can only ever fully open your heart to one other person because once you've been torn apart inside you are constantly being penetrated by thoughts and memories of that one person, in turn, making it impossible to ever fall in love again. If you thought you were in love yet have moved on then I'm sorry my friend you were never in love at all, because once you love someone you love them 'til death and you could never let that person go and you could never forget about them from the time they left to the time you took your final breath. You would be thinking of them on your death bed and wishing for nothing other than to have them there to hold your hand as you leave this cruel world. But it doesn't always have to end that way. It doesn't always have to end. When you honestly love someone, and they honestly love you. When you completely trust someone with your life and they trust you all the same. When you don't ever want to lose someone and they would never let you go. You will most certainly be together until death do you part. Once you find love, IF you find love, that's when you know the real meaning of life. That's when you have found your place in the world. That is your reason to live. But a lifetime isn't very long and you don't have a lot of time to find them. The person who is the perfect match for you. The person who completes you. So my friend you best start looking, because everyone has someone out there. It's just a matter of time before you find them. It could be 90 years and it could be tomorrow so never give up, never give in, and never let go. You always have a reason to live. I'm just lucky that I found my reason this early in life. Lucky that I found Destany. But in all honesty is it really luck that brings us together? Or is it fate? I don't believe in a god but I do believe everything happens for a reason and there isn't a second that goes by that I'm not thankful for what my life has brought me. Not a second that goes by that I'm not thankful to have found Destany and it can only get better from here on out. Now that we can leave our childhood and begin our lives. Open our eyes. Find that life is more amazing than we could have ever imagined. Start our own family, and eventually send our own kids off to find their reason to live, just like we did. I couldn't ask for a better future because, well, I couldn't dream of one if I tried. I will always love you Destany, forever & always, until we die.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Up on melancholy hill.

I realize now that I really have no friends. I was just thinking tomorrow is gonna suck because Destany can't come over and Blake is going to Fresno. They're the only people I'd want to be in my house, They're the only people I'm friends with. They're the only people I can stand to be around. I don't mind Katie, but I barely know Katie. I have no one. When did that happen? I hate realizations.

I was really looking forward to tomorrow with Destany. I had it all planned out. That was my first mistake. I was gonna take her for a ride in the dune buggy around the property. I planned on playing guitar for her. I just attempted to play The Mortician's Daughter on my first guitar which happens to be a tiny ukulele sized acoustic guitar. My good acoustic guitar has a recently broken string. One of my electric guitars has no strings and even if it did it wouldn't matter because I just broke the cord you need to plug it into the amp. So I practiced playing on my tiny First Act guitar. It may not have sounded good, but I was gonna sing to her. I figured after that we'd watch a movie. I have a DVD player in my room so we cold have hung out in my dark room, chilling on the bed/couch thingy and watched Tim Burton movies.. Then I probably would have kissed her at some point during the movie. It would have been fun. But whatever. There's really no point in talking about it because there's no use anymore. Maybe i'll make a wish in 8 minutes. It'll be 11:11. Maybe it will come true. Who knows? Either way I'm sure there will be other parties. There has to be. Right? I hate being under age. Life is so much harder. I want to go forward. Get out of here. Go to San Diego or San Fran. Just somewhere. Anywhere. Get me away. Whatever. I'm over it. Honestly. Bye.

I can't hold on to anything watching everything spin with thoughts of failure sinking in.

Okay, I may or may not be attempting to hack into the schools website to change Destany's grades so she can come over tomorrow. In fact, I have been trying. For the last hour and a half. I know it's illegal. I know if I get caught I'll be expelled and thrown in jail. I know the consequences. I just need to do this by tomorrow. I doubt I can but it doesn't hurt to try, does it? Who's to say. Anyway, I'm extremely upset that her mother isn't letting her come over. In fact, I would cry f it weren't for my utter lack of emotion. It takes a lot to upset me. Really it does. I haven't even been drinking tonight. I'm just in neutral mode. I really don't care about anything right now except for hacking this god damn web site. I have to break through. I have to. I'm so close, yet so far. Okay, back to work.

I'm on the ABI interface, I typed in Riches email, the one he would use if he were to login. I pressed enter so I could get to the incorrect password page. Easy. Next, right click, view page source. Easy. Found script. Now to find the password. Go to facebook --> Destany's profile --> Pictures. Why? Not a clue. Inspiration? Possibly. Maybe I just miss her. Who's to say.. Back to work. Exit Facebook. ABI interface>right click>inspect element. Nothing.. it's hopeless. Back on track. Inspect element>console "if ("password"=12345) {frmLogin.submit () ; return true; }" Nope. Error. Try again. "onkeydown="if (event.keycode==13) {document.frmLogin.submit () ; return true; };"" Nope. Error. I've got nothing left..

Just over 2 hours in, I blogged about 5% of what I tried. I may or may not have fucked up Mr. Riches account password. I couldn't get in. So here is my blog of my bitter tasting failure. Now I feel like crawling in a hole and dying. I'm sorry I couldn't complete the task.. I guess.. until next time..

- Jacob..

Please come now, I think I'm falling. I'm holding on to all I think is safe.

So, I went to get a shot today and I figured my mom would take me somewhere trust worthy at least. But no, she pulls up to a motor home that's called "Health on Wheels" ... pretty shady if you ask me, but whatever. I walk in and they said get in, so I asked "Are you going to kidnap me?? Do you at least have candy?" Turns out they did. Anyways, We got in and they had us sit down on the bench thingy. They took my little brother first, then me. For some unknown reason they made us turn our heads before they injected us. Weired, right? I think they injected me with something else.. I bled black blood. What the fuck?? And on top of that they didn't even flick the needle! Now I've been injected with air bubbles and I'm gonna fucking die because my mom wanted to get me a free shot. >=[ Yes, that's right, it was free. I know because she told me afterwards. This was right before she read off the side affects. ugh, it was terrible. So, if I die at some point in the next few days or so, I just want you to know that you all suck and I'll see you in Hell for a big party. Have a good life.

 - Jacob. =]

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Tell me that I won't feel a thing, give me Novocaine

Well, today sucks. I should be at school but because our economy sucks we don't get an education. Now we're on break because the district can't afford to pay the teachers. Ugh! This place sucks. I miss Destany, I miss my friends, I wanna hang out with Blake and I want to be able to have Destany over this Saturday. It's my little brother's 12th birthday and he's having a party. My mom is letting me invite someone over so I have something to do other than be perturbed by obnoxious sixth graders. So I', going to have to call Destany's mom and persuade her to let Destany come over. I'll have her talk to my mom and beg my mom to try to persuade her to let Destany come over. It's not like we'd do anything, I mean seriously, what ever happened to trusting your kids? We're just gonna hang out, probably listen to music in my room, I'll take her 'round the property in the dune buggy, Possibly take her down to the waterfall depending on how high the weeds are and if the water is even still running which I doubt it is. I probably won't take her down there because of the snakes that are out right now, I wouldn't want her to get bit. I wouldn't mind getting bit, that would be pretty rad. The she would have a reason to see me over the break, I'd be in the hospital. I wanna get hit by a car. Not enough to kill me but enough to hospitalize me. That way she can see me everyday and I can see her. Either way, I hope she can come over Saturday. If her mom won't let her, I'll have Blake come over. I''ll probably have him come over at some point anyway, it's been a while since we hung out.

I got caught with a knife on the bus yesterday. It wasn't even really a knife. I broke the handle off a pair of scissors so it was just 2 blades on an axis. I sharpened it in wood shop so it was really sharp, basically a makeshift butterfly knife, which are illegal. I was sitting in the back of the bus (Not in a seat because the bus we were on didn't have a very back seat which I usually sit in, so I sat on the floor where it should be.) I got my knife out and Taylor and her friend April took it while I was texting on someone's phone. They said they threw it back, but really April had it and when she got off the bus she gave it to Lisa, the bus driver. Then Lisa made an announcement saying she wanted to talk to me before I got off. I didn't care. When we got to my stop she said "Never bring a sharp object on my bus again, I'm keeping this" Now legally she is suppose to turn it in, which she very well might. Then I'll get either expelled or thrown in juvy. I don't know why, but I really don't care. I guess I always figured it was bound to happen eventually so it's just a matter of time. Like I said, it was pretty much a butterfly knife, that's why I could go to juvy... whatever.

What else is new? summer's coming so I'm pretty bummed about that. I'm thinking about taking the dune buggy and driving it to Destany's house when my mom is at work. I could probably get there in an hour or so, either way it would be faster than walking. I don't know what we would do, even if we just hung out and talked the entire time, it would be worth it. I figured it would go something like this: I would knock on her window and she would see me and be like =D and I'd be like =] "What's up?" She'd let me in and I'd hide in her room from her sister's. I'd probably end up sitting on either her bed or in her closet, depends, I've never seen her room before. We'd end up talking, I'd make her laugh and give her butterflies and I'd probably end up kissing her. Who know's what else we'd do to pass the time, it's really impossible to say but either way that's for me to know and for you to never find out, unless you're Destany, then you'd probably find out. But I'm not one to kiss & tell so Fook off!

Umm what else is there to talk about? There is a concert I'm going to in August which should be fun. It's going to be Motley Crue, Poison, and New York Dolls. I'm looking forward to Motley Crue, Poison is alright I guess and I can't wait to see the New York Dolls, that's more my kind of music. I think it's gonna be my first punk band in concert, I've seen Avril Lavigne, Stray Cats, The Pretenders, ZZ Top, Metallica, ummm, Butch walker (He opened for Avril) I've seen Lamb of God, The Sword (They opened for Metallica) I saw The Who and Buck Cherry and Nickelback and Three Days Grace and I think that's it. So, this should be fun if Destany can go. We got her a ticket but again I have to convince her mother to let her go, that should be fun..

What else is on my mind? Insecurities. I was doing great for a while, feeling good about myself. Then the other day Natalya said she couldn't tell if I was fat. What does that mean?? I mean I know I'm not as skinny as some of these kids but I'm also 6' 3" Do you know how hard it is to get that skinny when you're this big?? I'm trying everything I can to eat and not make myself sick again.. I don't want to regress back to where I was. I really don't.

I guess that's really all that's on my mind right now, so until next time.

- Jacob.

Monday, May 23, 2011

If you could be my punk rock princess, I would be your garage band king. =]

I decided to write about today because well, today was pretty epic. I almost had a heart attack, almost killed Destany and had a lot of fun while doing it. =]

The day started off rather normal, I got ready, got on the bus and headed off to school. When I got there I went straight over to Destany as always and found that she was wearing some new cloths that she bought on Saturday and holy shit I almost died. No joke, she looked epic. You're beautiful darling. Anyway, we hung out on the bridge for a while until the bell rang then I walked her to class as always. We talked there for a while and then I had to go to my class before the bell rang because well I have about a thousand tardies in that class. I made it on time (barely) and then we started taking notes. Well, the rest of the class took notes, I WROTE a note. To Destany of course. Who else would I write a note to? I have no friends =D Anyway, I wrote a relatively long note about nonsense as far as I know. I don't quite remember all that I wrote.

After that I went to wood shop which I was late to because I talked to Destany and Katie before class like I always do. I walked in wood shop as he called my name for role. Like always. Then I worked on a super secret project that I plan on giving to Destany unless it looks like a TOTAL piece of shit. =] I know it's gonna suck, but I hope she likes it. At least a little bit. =]

After that I went to English, after talking to Destany again of course. =] English was boring, we just took notes on our final. Which the first half of is due tomorrow and I haven't started. How hard is 2 9 paragraph analysis essays gonna be?

Then came Geometry, though before geometry I once again talked to Destany. I didn't pay attention in that class. I got a headache and laid down on the ground. The bitch we have for a teacher never noticed =]

Then Spanish. I walked Destany half way to her class and pushed her down the stairs. But don't worry, I kissed her to make up for it. =] Spanish was cool, we just reviewed for the final.

Then lunch. Lunch was quite interesting, I tried dragging Dez to the river and I almost got her there, but she turned back. I'll get her one of these times =] I ended up closing my eyes and letting her lead the way, she almost let me get hit by a golf cart. =] We got yelled at for being where we weren't suppose to and then went behind Ansel Adams where we.. talked? I guess we kind of talked, but not really =] That's when she almost gave me a heart attack. I closed my eyes and she kissed me. My heart stopped, I got butterflies.. It was amazing. =]

Then the bell rang and I went to History where I hung out with Blake and Peter and Triston. I told Triston I was going to buy him an iPod for his birthday.. he said he felt bad for whatever he did. I told him not to feel bad and he said he was going to get me back. In other words he's going to get me something... my guess is pot. =]

Then gym, gym was rather normal. We hung out and walked laps. I talked to Destany the whole time and made her spin and twirl. She's almost as gay as me. ;] I kid I kid, then after gym I almost threw her over the fence when I was kissing her. But I wouldn't drop her if my life depended on it. I love you Destany.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Been thinkin' about you..

Today was a weird day.. First I went to a baptism. That was awkward. I was waiting to burst into flames when I walked into the church. After that I went to Little Caesars to get a pizza because cheese pizza is bitchin' and I saw Natalya, Katie, And Chris there. Katie met my mom, and Chris was introduced as my boyfriend. I carried him across the parking lot to the car. Yeah, don't ask. Then I decided to be stupid and see if I could eat an entire  pizza.. I could. =] It seemed like a good idea at the time, but afterwards I realized it was pointless. Oh well, whats life if you don't do something stupid every once in a while? After that I went bowling with my mom, that was fun, though I lost. =[ And then we went shopping at Raley's and went home. Today was fun I guess. I just miss Destany a lot. But Monday is almost here.. Soon enough, right?

It's the end of the world as we know and I feel fine.

Well, where's your Jesus now everyone? I'm pretty sure he was s'pose to be here about 20 minutes ago. Maybe he's running late. Or maybe, just maybe, he doesn't exist. I'd say that's far more likely. How can one really believe on some guy sitting up on a cloud controlling our lives. I don't understand why people will believe in some old guy pointing his finger and making humans over the whole theory of evolution. I know why, I just don't understand how people can be so naive. he only reason people believe is because people are afraid of death. They're afraid of what they cannot know, it's in human nature. So they WANT to believe there is a heavenly place to go after we die. They want to believe that when someone they love dies, it won't be the last time they see them. Sure, all that sounds just peachy. But it's also terribly unrealistic and you must be blind to follow it. I mean seriously why can't you see that religion is nothing but a once fantasized idea turned into a conspiracy and way to make money while brain washing people. Just open your eyes and see the lies right in front of you. ( <-- Good song. Open Your Eyes by Lords Of The New Church)

Friday, May 20, 2011

Bad kids, all my friends are bad kids. Product of no dad kids. Kids like you and me.

Grr.. I really hate doing the right thing.. It makes my stomach hurt and makes me feel like I'm going to puke. =\ Today, One of my best friend's, Triston, Stole one of my other Somewhat of a friend's iPod. We all got held in the library and after about 5 minutes they let us go because no one fessed up (Some system, right?) Anyway, Triston and I walked out the back door and he said "You wanna hold this for me until lunch?" I of course said Yes and took it. I wanted to give it back to Triston.. but I gave it to Destany.. she did the 'right' thing and gave it back to Chyanne. I stabbed Triston in the back and I'm never going to forgive myself. Then I made it worse by lying to him about what happened.. I'm a terrible friend. God dammit I should have just given it back.. It wasn't my place to 'fix' things.. Now I've lost one of my best friends and there's nothing I could do about it. If I could redo it all I would. If I could redo it I would do it like this.. While we were in the library I would tell him to take my bag to his next class. I'd get up and run like hell out the back door. The cart Nazi would chase me down and when he eventually got me they would search me and find nothing. Mean while everyone in the library would have been released. Triston would have got the iPod and we'd still be friends. But no. Not anymore. I fucked up and betrayed him. He trusted me when he gave that to me and I betrayed him. He'll never trust me again.. never like me again.. I plan on buying him an iPod with the money I make over summer. I'm gonna get a job. I'll get him an iPod because, well, I owe him one. I know you're not going to read this but I'm sorry, Triston. I'll make it up to you someday.

You come in cold, you're covered in blood. They're all so happy you've arrived. The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom, she sets you free into this life.

So.. I just watched the new Bones.. Angela gave birth. I don't know, it was weird. Seeing them having a baby, seeing how happy they were, seeing the baby. It made me.. well.. wish I had a baby. I know it was scripted and they were paid to be happy, but even still, I couldn't stop wishing that was me and Destany. It's weird, before I met Destany I never wanted to have kids.. but now. Now, I can see myself with a family, with kids, with her. I love her so much it's impossible. It really is. So, who knows? Maybe we'll have kids when we're 18 maybe we'll have kids when we're 30. It's really impossible to say because people change. But honestly? Right now.. I'm thinking it's going to be closer to 18..

Walk like a zombie.

I is in the library. I'm suppose to be doing something but I'm not entirely sure what that is at the moment. My mom got more captain morgan's so I made a drink this morning. It's not a real strong alcohol like tequila but I'm feeling great. I'm not drunk because I can still walk for the most part. I'm just happy happy HAPPY! I texteded Donaven yesterday and I think I was mean to him. I called him a nieve repulsive twat amonst other things I really don't remember. I should re read those messages. I was scared.  I thouhgt Destany would be mad at me because of how mean I was to him, but she wasn't. I love that girl so much. I'm thinking about leaving or texting Katie and telling her to tell Destany to ask to go to the bathroom but then wmeet me some where because I'm in the liberary. I LOVE THIS SONG! How Soon Is Now? By Morrissey. Epic song. See, I'm not real drunk, I can still type correctly for the most part. Not too many typos. I'm still of a sound mind.. well soundish. =] I'm taking a blodd test after school which probably isn't good. I'm just gonna get on the bus and say I forgot about it then wait a while before I go take it. I'd be in so much trouble if my test showed up with alcohol. I'd get my phone taken away.. again. I have a funny habbit of doing that. People are giving me a paper to some religious event. I could't read AND interpret it because well i'm slightly intoxicated at the moment. So they tried explaining it to me. When I still didn't get it they started talkign to me like I'm a five year old. He said "Try being an atheist after you go to this" I said I garentee I will be =] So HA! I don't know why I'm laughing. I wish I had a rocket. I'd fly to the moon. The world is suppose to end tomorrow, I'm thinking about going to Dez's house at 3 a.m. =D I can't do that though I'd probably get kidnapped or hit by a car or shot or found by Donaven which would mean I would be then forced to shove my foot up his ass. I just don't wanna do that. He said I couldn't win a fight with him. FUCK YOU DONAVEN! I could kick your ass on any day of the mudder fuckin' week. Especially Tuesday! Ha "Mudder fuckin'" I sound black =] I don't know what else to write so, bye bye. And remember. Keep walkin' like a zombie! BYE!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I can't help from just smilin' when that damn sun is shining oh hell it's just shining over our city streets.

FOOK! I'm in a grand mood! I don't know why, today was just a wonderful wonderful day(: It rained(: I kissed Destany(: Sorry if I got you sick): But I'm happy. I just thought I'd share that bit of info with you(: Bye Bye! =]

Shakin' like a dog shittin' razor blades.

Okay, I don't know if I quite feel comfortable posting this. But, for lack of anything better to write (Or anything else at all) I think I shall.

So, I got my phone back Saturday afternoon.. then taken away Sunday night. What can I say? Guess I'm just a bad kid. I don't even quite remember everything that happened. I don't remember how or why I got so angry. I just remember I did. I was breathing such short breaths so fast that after 20 minutes or so, my arm went completely numb. Then my legs... I felt like my body was going to go into shock. I became dizzy and lost sight and started shaking. As the minutes went on and my breath refused to slow, my whole face went numb. I started twitching. I couldn't control it, it was like I had turrets almost. I couldn't feel my arms, legs or my face and I was shaking violently, uncontrollably. I couldn't stop. My heart wouldn't slow down. I almost died. Out of anger. I really hate losing control like that. It's never happened before but I'm afraid it would happen again. I feel like I'm a danger to myself and everyone around me and I should be locked up all alone for the rest of my life. I know I would never hurt anyone of my friends. I would NEVER hurt Destany and I would NEVER hurt our future kids. I don't know. I guess I just feel undeserving of her. I really don't have anything left to say really. So, until next time.

- Jacob.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Day 30

Day 30: A picture of yourself and 3 good things that have happened in the last thirty days.

1. I didn't die. But I guess that's good for some people and disappointing for others.

2. My mom bought waffles. Then chocolate chip waffles. Then I ate them. Then I was happy(: 

3. I got to spend most of the past 30 days with Destany. That's ALWAYS good, I could never get tired of spending time with her. It's my favorite part of the day(: Hell, It's the only good part of my day. (Unless I have waffles of course) =]

Day 29

Day 29: Something you could never get tired of doing.

Listening to music. I could listen to music every second for the rest of my life and never get tired of it. I'm not saying I would be happy. If I blocked out the rest of the world and only listened to music I would lose Destany in a heart beat and if she walks out the door happiness goes with her along with love and the chance of ever smiling again. Hmm, I guess I should never block her out. I don't think I could if I tried.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Your heart beats double time, one more kiss and you'll be mine.

So, the title really has no connection to the post, but yeah.
I've come up with a series of question, ANSWER THEM!

1. If you had to cut off a part of your body, what would it be? (not trying to be dirty=P)
My face. It'd be rad walking around with no face. =D

2. If you had to bite Mrs. Sebastian, where would it be?
Her fucking brain.

3. Okay, so by mistake, someone sends a hooker to your house. She's all paid for for.. say... 4 hours, and she wont leave until her time s up. What do you do?
I give her Blakes address and laugh my ass off. =D

4. Okay, I gotta ask, Zombie or Survivor?
Zombie most definitely. =D

5. There are 6 people left in the entire world, and you get to pick who these people are, who survives?
Destany Schumaker, Malory Rayne Schumaker, Dezmond (Middle name here) Schumaker, Uhhh, Blake, and my Cousins Jon and Chynna.

6. A tornado kills your entire family and destroys your home, and even carries you to... Oaklahoma? What do you do?
Hitchhike my way to your place.

8. You can only listen to 2 songs for the rest of your life. What songs do you choose?
Enjoy The Silence - Depeche Mode & End Of A Century - Blur

9. A kitten attacks you, it's either cut the kitten's head off, or bite through your arm... What's it gonna be?
Which arm? Seriously right arm I;d bite off, left arm I'd regrettably cut the head.

10. Fuck, kill, marry, Avril Lavigne, mee, and Katie.
I'd marry you and kill the rest of the world(:

The end(: I love youu.               I love you too(:

It's just a question of time.

Do you ever find yourself living life and feeling as though it's all a dream then suddenly, out of no where, it's as though you've woken up. Everything becomes very realistic and you realize anything could happen. You could say the wrong thing. You could be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Hell, you could die at any second. I hate those moments, where you wake up from life and start living. Because when we live with a sound, conscious mind, and turn off our unconscious autopilot, anything and everything could go wrong because after all we are all human, and not one of us is perfect. We all make mistakes, I just fear when the next one will come.

What the fuck kid? You're a fucking freak. Freak. You're a fuking freak.

  1. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
  2. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
  3. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
  4. Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS.
  5. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
  6. Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
  7. Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
  8. A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
  9. For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
  10. I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
  11. The beatings will continue until morale improves.
  12. I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
  13. Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
  14. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
  15. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
  16. There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
  17. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
  18. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  19. A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
  20. I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
  21. Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
  22. If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
  23. Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
  24. Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
  25. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
  26. If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
  27. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
  28. Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
  29. It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
  30. Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
  31. Look out for #1. Don't step in #2.
  32. Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
  33. Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
  34. Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
  35. Do witches run spell checkers?
  36. Demons are a Ghouls best Friend.
  37. Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
  38. Dain bramaged.
  39. Department of Redundancy Department
  40. Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!
  41. What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
  42. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
  43. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
  44. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
  45. 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
  46. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
  47. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
  48. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
  51. <-------- The information went data way>
  52. Best file compression around: "DEL ." = 100% compression
  53. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
  54. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
  55. The name is Baud......, James Baud.
  56. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
  57. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
  58. C:\ Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
  59. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
  60. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
  61. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
  62. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
  63. Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups.
  64. E Pluribus Modem
  65. ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
  66. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
  67. A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
  68. An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
  69. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
  70. Does fuzzy logic tickle?
  71. A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
  72. 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
  73. 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
  74. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
  75. Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
  76. SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
  77. Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
  78. Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
  79. RAM disk is not an installation procedure.
  80. Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
  81. All computers wait at the same speed.
  82. DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
  83. Press -- to continue ...
  84. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
  85. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
  86. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
  87. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
  88. Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
  89. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
  90. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
  91. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
  93. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
  94. Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
  95. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
  96. Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.

Friday, May 13, 2011

It's only when I lose myself in someone else, that I find myself. I find myself.

So I figured I'd let Dez be an author on my blog, mainly just to see what that does, partially because I'm bored, and partially because well I feel she deserves permission to any part of my life, including my blog. =P So yeah, that's that(:

On another note... I GOT WAFFLES TODAY!!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME!!!! THE ONLY THING THAT COULD MAKE THIS BETTER WOULD BE IF DESTANY WAS HERE TO SHARE THEM WITH ME!! I'd be the happiest boy on Earth! Hell, I already am.. at least when I'm with Dest. Love you, babe.

He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it anymore obvious? He was a punk, she did ballet. What more can I say? He wanted her, she'd never tell, secretly she wanted him as well(:

I swear she looks like a teenage Avril Lavigne in this picture(:

Oh hear my voice, oh hear my voice, hear my voice, hear my voice..

I decided I'm just gonna write about whatever is on my mind at the moment which is actually quite a lot to be honest considering Destany just gave me a bunch of letters that she wrote to me but never gave to me.

So first, I guess I'd have to start with embarrassment. I can't believe I told her the last one. I wasn't going to. I really wasn't. Anyway, I'm curious as to what she was going to tell me but forgot about. I wanna know!!!!
Now I'm thinking about the effect (affect?) Destany has on me. Ever since I met her I started biting my lip from time to time. I also get shaky every once in a while, but it's usually when I'm not with her. Or I try really hard not to let her notice. I also never knew my heart beat was so fast until she listened to it. It's the most amazing thing to have someone listen to my heart.. I don't know.. I guess it just makes me feel like someone cares. And it reassures me that I'm still alive, I wonder sometimes(:

Now I'm thinking about the future. It honestly scares me.. I guess it's because I don't like not knowing things.

Interruption: I started thinking about Destany.. I just wanted to tell you I love you, baby. More than all the seconds that the stars have ever lived through.

Anyway, back to the future. Hehe.. I have no idea what will happen. I have no idea where we'll go. I have no idea what things will be like. I want to be with Destany, be able to sleep by her every night and wake up with her every morning. Wake up in the middle of the night to be sure she's sleeping sound and try with every ounce of strength in my body to not kiss her because I don't want to wake her up(: I want to have a baby boy. A little punk kid with Destany's eyes(: I don't care where we're living or what we're doing, I just want us to be happy. That's all that matters.

That's really all that's on my mind, well, all I feel like writing about so bye bye for now. I'll see you all in Hell. We can have a party I promise(:

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Ouija board, Ouija board, Ouija board would you work for me? I have got to get through to a good friend.

My friend posted this on facebook and I liked it, so I decided to pass it on for whoever wants to read. It's true. Please don't be ashamed of your body. Don't hate yourself for the way you look. Don't let society tell you you're not perfect. Everyone is perfect in their own way, and please everyone, don't let anyone tell you any differently.

King for a day, princess by dawn. King for a day in a leather thong.

Okay, So, I have an embarrassing/revealing story that I never told anyone before. EVER!

So, when I was little I would day dream like anyone else. Play out things I would want to happen in my head because I had nothing better to do. Anyway, I watched movies and in all the movies the little brother would get tied up when all the girls were having a sleep over and they would put make up on the kid. Well, secretly, all throughout my young childhood. I wanted nothing more than to be attacked by the girls in my class and covered in make up. Why? Not a clue. Embarrassing? Hells yeah it is! And I never told anyone until now. =P

Sex on the TV, everybody's at it. The mind get's dirty as you get closer to thirty.

So tell me dear followers. Why do people consider someone a "slut" or a "whore" for having sex before marriage? Just because some people find love before you did doesn't mean they're not in love. So you can all shove it. My question is, what in your opinion is to young of an age to have sex even if you're both in love and plan on spending the rest of your lives together. I mean, honestly. No bias opinions. (You know, this is a point in time where I actually wished some people read this blog.) I don't know, guess it's just on my mind lately. I see why adults tell teenagers not to have premarital sex. It's because the rate of teenage pregnancy has increased so much. Well, granted there are a lot of dumb asses out there. But what about the ones that aren't total fuck ups? What about the ones who aren't gonna bang people and leve them the next week? We're not all idiots, so stop treating us like we are.

Monday, May 9, 2011

And in the night we'll wish this never ends. We'll wish this never ends.

Have you ever had a kiss that was so amazing you never wanted it to end?

So today was beautiful, the clouds were cast above making the skies a beautiful shade of grey and black. Then came 7th period, we were all waiting outside for the teacher to open the doors to the gym and while I was waiting I hugged Destany, just then it started raining. =] It was amazing we stood there for who knows how long, I lost track of time. I love the rain so much. Anyway, after everyone went in I kissed her under the drops of rain and not that that wasn't amazing and all, but that's not the one I'm referring to in the above question. After class, I dragged her in to the gym because well, I was cold. Then the bell rang and everyone left, I was trying to make her miss the bus so we'd be forced to stay there until someone could take us home. So, with the sound of hail shooting down outside, I kissed her against the gym wall and then thunder started blaring. It was amazing, epic even. That kiss, I never wanted to end. =]
Day 28: A picture of you from last year, a picture of you now and how you have changed.

This is me with a horse riding helmet on... not riding a horse. =]

This is Destany and I in the gym. I don't remember this being taken. D=

I've changed a lot since last year. Not so much physically (aside from a better haircut, a lot of weight loss, and new glasses) But more mentally. I was always getting into fights last year, everyone hated me. Everyone still hates me, but I'm not almost fighting everyday. I know this was because of Destany. Before I met her, I really had nothing to lose. I would just go off every time someone called me a "fag" or deliberately threw something at me. I would go off, grab 'em by the shirt and wait for them to throw the first punch... No one ever did. I'm glad i'm not like that anymore, really. If I were still like that I know I would have been in juvy by now because people have hit me this year. And if it had happened before I had Destany I would have had my fist in his face and my foot up his ass.  But, I couldn't stand the consequence. I wouldn't be able to see Destany for a while once I got thrown in with all the other delinquents (where I probably should be =\) I couldn't stand not being able to hold her or kiss her or talk to her. I'd miss her. Plus I don't want her to see me like that. And I don't want her to see me dead either which would have happened if I fought Jake Wheeler. She stopped that too. Basically, this year I'm much happier. I'm actually just happy in general. I'm in love, which is all new to me, I have the most beautiful, amazing girlfriend anyone could ask for. (My first and only girlfriend so that too is new for me) and I'm not confined in the prison I had made for myself anymore. I'm me. And nothing will every change that. So Destany, thank you for showing me who I am and loving me no matter how dorky or idiotic I may be(: I will always love you because you'll always be my dirty vainilla tortita.   ...But I still have to eat you. =D

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Day 26

Day 26: Somewhere you've been.

Las Vegas! I'd tell you what happened, but they said it had to stay there. =]

100th Post!!!

This is the 100th post on my blog so I decided it should be totally epic, so I'm gonna write a story!

Once upon a time in a land far far away lived a boy named Kevin Sockmaker(: he was just a lonely punk kid who didn't know his place in his world. He was always getting picked on and acted like he just didn't give a shit, but deep down he was rotting away. You see, everyone has an insane garden gnome inside them, but the gnome is confined with bars. Every time you get hurt it directly penetrates the bars, and one day the gnome could break free and when that happens all hell breaks loose with it. Anyway, he was in gym one day and a random girl decided to say hi to him. Her name was Malory Rayne. They started talking after that, she invited him to lunch with her and they became really good friends. Kevin was falling in love, but he didn't want to admit it. You see he was afraid of love, because he knew you always end up getting hurt and every time you get hurt the bars start to corrode. Kevin was afraid of the damn garden gnome. So he lied to himself until he couldn't lie anymore. He had fallen in love and he knew he couldn't lose her because life without her wouldn't be a life worth living. 

About a month later they went to a... party. Yeah, it was a big party with a lot of people. Malory was there with her new boyfriend, which sadly, wasn't Kevin. It was actually someone by the name of Richard, but I call him Dick(: Kevin was quite upset and couldn't stand to see them together, so he smiled and laughed like everything was great. The party went on and a few hours later the parents came home, Kevin, Malory, and Dick all got kicked out with some of their other friends. But during that night, Malory realized that she really didn't love Dick like she used to. Her heart lay not in his hands, but in Kevin's. 

Time went on and eventually Malory and Kevin got together. They went on their first date, it was a Winter Formal dance. They talked to their friends, danced, and kissed once or twice... maybe a little more(: The years went by and when they got out of high school they got married. 

Now, Kevin and Malory live in a house at the top of a hill in the middle of a haunted cemetery. Their house is made of skittles and it always rains upon them. They have 5 cats, Miles, Mystery, Snow, Sabbath, and Ni-Chi. They have a skunk, Buford, a spider named Boris, and a bull dog who's name you can't know because well honestly I don't know yet(: They also have a son named Dezmond. He is a punk rock baby born into the weirdest family you could ever think of, but it's the best family anyone could ask for(: 

The End!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Hello good people. I;'m not gonna lie to you, I'm a little drunk right now. Tequila is my best friend and if you wanna judge me for that well you can kiss me arse! I have no point to posting right now there is really no reason. I just wanted to tell you all I love you!!! you guys are the bestest. I'm pretty sure only one person will read thius but thats okay because she is the one i REALLY love more than the world and stars and midgets! So if you're reading this I LOVE YOU! Now to all the rest of you, suck a fucking waffle. WHy? Because waffles are fucking epic, bitches! So, take some time, buy a waffle or two, and suck it till you can't suck no more. Get on a train, go to England, eat the queen, listen to the Sex Pistols and come back because that's all there really is to life. Have a little fun and die. That's what life is all about mother fuckers!!!! so, like I said, go to england drink some tea, start some riots and eat a dirty vanilla cupcake. no wait! I take that back, she's mine so if you eat her i'll HAVE to slit your throat. And i just don't want to do that right now. So all you fuckers, have a good night, i'm out of here. 

Friday, May 6, 2011

Dear Father

I hesitated to even post this.. It's more personal than I usually get on this topic. But I decided to post it regardless.

Dear Father,

I have never forgiven you for leaving us. I will never understand how you could give everything up. I wish you hadn't ever had kids, or at least me because you couldn't handle it. Couldn't handle life. So fuck you for ruining my life.. fuck you.. I have spent my whole life trying to decide if I really do hate you.. or if I'm just lying to myself to make it all easier.. I still don't know. I've been thinking. Ever since I was at the rec center talking to the little kids. I couldn't figure out why I felt so awkward around them. Or any kids for that matter. Every time I think about having kids or being a father.. I get really freaked out. I'm scared that I will screw it all up. I'm scared they will hate me. I'm scared I will ruin their lives. I would never do to them what you did to me, and I would never do to Destany what you did to my mom. I could never harm her.. but, today, it suddenly hit me. I spend my whole life watching, observing, and learning from the things and people around me. (I figure thats how I become so good with words.) But I'm afraid of being a father, I'm afraid of going into something because I don't know where to start. I had no one to observe.. The only aspect of my life that I couldn't watch and learn from was fatherhood because YOU walked out on us, on everyone.With drugs.. with suicide.. (Although, on a side note, I must thank you. If you weren't a Vicodin addict I would have taken the pill Natalya gave me.. so thank you.) Anyway, that's why I'm so awkward and afraid of kids. I don't know where to start. I don't hate you.. but it would sure as hell be a lot easier if I did..

Forever your abandoned son, 


May 6th, 2011

Today was amazing, 'twas the greatest day I've had in a long time. So, what's the first thing that comes to mind? 'I must blog about this as soon as possible!' Then I realized Destany beat me to it, but what can I do? She's my vainilla tortida(:

Anyway, the day started off normal, we went to the bridge and talked with Blake. Then we went to first period. Actually we went to third because today is Friday so we only have 3rd, 5th, and 7th. So my 3rd is English and her's is Science. She was launching rockets, so I, being my rebellious, under achieving self, went to launch rockets with her. And no, that's not a sexual innuendo(: Anyway, that was fun. I protected her from the horrendous bees and wasps(:

Next was 5th. I had Spanish and she had Art. She being the under achieving artist she is, told me to get her out of it(; At least thats what I heard when she said "I don't want to go to art" =] Anyway, I left Spanish to go to her class with a piece of paper. I told her teacher that she needed to go to the office and we left and went to Spanish. I had to force her to go in because she was afraid of the people in there and afraid of getting in trouble. I had to lie and say there was a campus supervisor (AK.A Cart Nazi) coming to get her to finally go in(:  It was a lot of fun, I made her drink root beer and we talked and sang and danced and drank... wait no, that was formal. Well, we drank root beer and talked(: 

Then came lunch. Nothing new really. We hung out with Natalya, J.J., and Jackie. Pretty much the usual lunch. =]

Then gym. We have that class together so we didn't really have to ditch, though we kind of did anyway. We had to walk around the track in the back of the campus twice. It's really long so twice is a lot, stop judging! =] Anyway, we were in the back of everyone so we stopped by the water (Yes we're red necks there is a river running through our hippie school. =]) That may have been my favorite part of the day(: until we realized we were sitting on a bunch of worms of course. =]

Tomorrow is 4 months, I wish we could be together =\ Oh well, Happy anniversary, darling. I love you more than anything.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


Tea tea, give me tea..
Tea tea, inside of me.
Tea tea, makes me pee.
Tea tea, that's all I need(:

Day 25

Day 25: What's in your purse?

Well, in my purse I have a portal to Hell, Tampons of course, A waffle maker, an extra waffle maker in case the first one breaks, an emergency waffle just in case. I have My unicorn, Destany (both of which are kept in poke balls), And a sheep. Everything else i'll just carry with me, like my bull dog. That's about it. (:

Favorite Song!

My new favorite song is Friday I'm In Love by The Cure. Not just because it's an amazing song, but because Friday is the day that I asked Destany out the first time, and Friday is the day she asked me out,. Friday is the day we have a longer period in P.E. which is the only class we have together. Friday is just our day. =] But we met on a Monday. (:

Day 23

Day 23: A photo of something that means a lot to you.

Isn't she beautiful? =]

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

It Gets Better. . .

Many LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual) youth can't picture what their lives might be like as openly gay adults. They can't imagine a future for themselves. So let's show them what our lives are like, let's show them what the future may hold in store for them.
JOIN OUR MOVEMENT - TAKE THE PLEDGE:Everyone deserves to be respected for who they are. I pledge to spread this message to my friends, family and neighbors. I'll speak up against hate and intolerance whenever I see it, at school and at work. I'll provide hope for lesbian, gay, bi, trans and other bullied teens by letting them know that "It Gets Better."

Monday, May 2, 2011

Day 23

Okay, first off I'm dropping one of the 30 day things because the rest of the questions on there really suck and are kind of a waste of time. So, I'm only going to be doing this one ( from now on. =]

Day 23: 15 facts about you.

1. I'm afraid of toasters. . .

2. When I was 3 years old I would write and say my name "Jacob three that's me." I was a poet then too! =]

3. I don't like expressing my own opinion.

4. I joined soccer in 6th (?) grade and dropped out after the first practice because I almost died. That's when I found out I had heart issues. The other kids on the team made fun of me because I only lasted one practice. . it wasn't my fault. .

5. I'm extremely scared of children. .

6. I am madly in love. . . with waffles. ;]

7. Destany Caywood saved my life.

8. I have never done drugs, nor have I ever been in a fight. .

9. I can't dance. Destany knows this from experience. =] And I can't sing, which Destany hasn't quite discovered yet. =]

10. I played guitar for my 8th grade talent show. . I sucked. =]

11. I don't know how to talk to people.

12. I'm extremely observant. I over analyze and over think everything. Again, Destany knows this from experience. =]

13. I'm going to marry Destany Caywood the second she turns 18.

14. Someday can't come soon enough. I'll eventually have a family; Kids, cats (Ni-Chi, Miles, Sabbath, Mystery, and Snow.), and a bull dog. But I would only ever want this with Dest.

15. I love Destany more than I could ever scream. <3

There, that's 15. The only purpose for this sentence was so I could complete the rainbow. =]

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Day 22

Day 22: A letter to someone who has hurt you recently. 

Dear Santa Clause,

Let me start by saying I don't appreciate you filling my stocking with coal this year. I wasn't even that bad. I mean, I eat 1 baby and all Hell breaks loose. It was just once man, I mean c'mon! No reason to fill my stocking with coal... bitch. The only other bad things I did was kidnap the giraffe from the zoo, handcuff my brother to a park bench at 4 a.m., throw an iguana at Destany, and blow up the presidents wife. I mean, I could have done worse. You could have at least given me a cupcake... or a unicorn. Well, that's all I have to say for now. I hope you're not expecting cookies this year! 'Cause you're not getting any.

- Jacob 


I just don't feel like myself today. =\

Old Gregg

I'm old Gregg!

Watch it, laugh your ass off, and comment. =]