Thursday, June 9, 2011

I never thought I'd die alone, another six months I'll be unknown. Give all my things to all my friends, you'll never step foot in my room again.

So I've been thinking a lot. About life, death, and all that's in between.. What if I don't want to get old? I mean, I don't want to wake up one day, realize I'm 80 and think back to the days when I was young and know that I'll never be like that again.. I wish I could just stop aging at 30 but still die in 70 years or so. Also, I don't want to see the people I love die away before me..
Another thing that's been on my mind that ties in with all this life and death ranting is Destany and I. I know it'd be rad to die together, but the chances of that are small. One of us will die first.. I want it to be me because I don't want to handle her death, but at the same time I don't want to put her through the pain of losing me. So.. I want to die last, because she will never have to be alone again. I just worry. I worry what I would do if I lost her and I worry what she would do if she lost me. I mean anything can happen.. I could get hit by a car tomorrow and die, or get kidnapped and never see her face again.. I would die. and I'm not even exaggerating. I can't live without her. I refuse to be afraid of death because I refuse to live my life in fear. I'd much rather tempt death by living life to it's fullest. I guess the moral to this thought is just live like you're gonna die tomorrow and you'll die knowing you lived a great life. I know it'll be a while before I'm 80, but that doesn't stop me from being kidnapped and shot or hit by a car or robbed and stabbed in my house.. Anything could happen.. I wish I was with Dest.. =\

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