Monday, July 4, 2011

There's a heartbreak beat playing all night long

So, I guess I should start by sating Happy Fourth.. I brought my flag out of the closet. My mom doesn't like me to have it out but I think it's beautiful. Just a regular American flag that I tore up with a blade making it all torn up around the edges. Then I took a sharpie and drew a big anarchy sign on it and then I cut myself and dropped blood on it.. just for effect.

Anyway, my mom decided to have a party and well I was okay with the idea because I thought I would know people. Turns out I don't have friends and had no one to invite. I called Dez's mom and invited them and she said they already had plans. She said her sister might be coming over and despite that I'm still hoping with everything I have that they show up.. Every time the doorbell rings I get that feeling in my stomach, that feeling you get when you think something good is about to happen. Then I open the door to find another one of my mom's redneck friends who annoy the hell out of me.

This morning was pleasant.. I woke up to a loud obnoxious voice.. my mom's boyfriend brought over a PA system and set it up like a karaoke machine. -_- He's slept over he the last three nights. They got together 3 nights ago.. I'm about 90% sure he's moving in. This fucking sucks. But I'm not gonna sit here and complain because it's useless. Anyway, now the rednecks my mom hangs out with have been drinking and are singing. They think they're good. They think each other is good. They're not good. I'm still waiting for the doorbell to go off.. I keep looking back to see if anyone is walking by. I know they're not coming.. but does it hurt to hope?

Holiday's suck. All the are is American's finding a reason to get drunk. What does it matter? They do it every night anyway, on Holiday's they just have a reason to behave the way they do every night.

I took a nap under the pool table. Why? Because no one can find me there. That's where I go. The way it's angled if you glance in the room you can't see me. I still usually go in my room to get away from everything but, I don't know, it's too mainstream to hide in your room. Plus everyone could find me there.

Any second now.. the bells gonna ring.. you watch..

I asked my mom if Jerry moves in if I could move in with his roommate where he lives now. It would be amazing. Jon Jon is fucking kick ass.. He would let me do anything I want and we could play guitar whenever the fuck we want because they have big amps there. It would be epic... and Destany lives like 10 minutes away if I walk. Which I wouldn't.. I would take a skateboard. But it'll never happen. They all say Jon Jon is too unstable and my mom says she doesn't trust me to be that close to Destany. I would be so happy there though.

I don't really know what else to write about. I think I'm going to go now and continue waiting for the doorbell that will never ring. Good bye.

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